Simple And Proven Ways To Live A Happier Life

When attempting to understand and overcome our anxieties we can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of information out there. Having only a limited amount of time in our busy days to invest in our own self development, one of the big challenges is finding out what works for us individually. I have attempted to put together some simple tried and proven ways to live a happier, more anxiety free life.

Lighten up. Don't be afraid to look at life and your anxiety with a bit of humour. Sigmund Freud, a pioneering psychiatrist, was a huge fan of humour and identified it as a mature defence mechanism in coping with stress.

Appreciate your anxiety (I know that's tough!). Just as in life, nothing is black and white, neither is your anxiety all bad. Without suffering from anxiety it's unlikely you would be such a sensitive, empathic or creative person. Give anxiety a little bit of credit.

Explore spirituality. Read a little Buddhism, attend church out of interest, do some meditation or read some philosophy. Your mind is like an elastic band, once stretched by a new way of thinking, it will never return completely to its former tension.

"There is no such thing as right or wrong, but thinking makes it so" Shakespeare.

Remember this sequence 1) Event 2) Thought 3) Feeling. This is a key concept, it is not the event that causes you to feel a certain way, but your response to the event, the way you think about and respond to the event. Understand this concept and you have made a significant step towardsunderstanding your anxiety. Congratulations!

Let go of hatred towards others. Why? Hatred is like holding a hot coal that you are going to throw at your enemies, you are the one getting burnt. In short, hatred causes you suffering. How do you let go of it? You forgive. I know that sounds pathetic but it works. How do you forgive? You can try love, but often that's to hard to begin with, so try empathising or pitying them instead, anything is better than poisoning yourself with hatred. How do you pity your enemies if all you can feel is hatred? Simple, remember this saying next time someone hurts you; 'hurt people, hurt people'. The bully at school is bullied at home. The girl who bitches most is the most insecure within herself. If someone feels the need to drag others down, it's because they themselves feel down. Forgiving doesn't mean kissing and hugging them. In fact, you may wish never to see them again. That's fine. But at least you are no longer carrying hatred with you. I know it is easier said than done, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said!

Invest in anxiety for a calmer future. Challenge your comfort zone every now and then, expose yourself to your anxieties. Look at it as an investment in a calmer more peaceful future. A stitch in time saves nine. Short term pain for long term gain!

Try to reduce your need to judge and label other people. Let them be. Basically speaking, we judge others in the same way as we judge ourselves. The mind is a funny thing, if we are more accepting of others and less critical and judgemental of their flaws, we treat ourselves in the same manner subconsciously. Accepting others, warts and all, flows onto our own acceptance, leading to better self esteem. Give it a bash.

Love yourself! Society often confuses this with arrogance when in fact they are opposites. Self love is the opposite to arrogance. Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa all had supreme self love for themselves, certainly not arrogance, and that allowed them to extend love to others through true forgiveness and compassion. Arrogance is a lack of self love demonstrated in the need to assert superiority over others. Self love is quite the opposite. You have to first love yourself, before you can truly love others, or as Shakespeare put it 'Self love my lord is not so vile a sin as self neglecting'. Sometimes the biggest act of love you can give to your family and friends is to first take action towards loving yourself.

"People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care".

Want friends to like and care more about you? Who doesn't! But often we go about it the wrong way. We try to be perfect, or to impress them with our achievements. People will be impressed, sure, but is all your hard work and desire to impress and be perfect really just a desire to be loved? Of course it is. If you think about it, people feel most comfortable around friends who are imperfect, friends who are happy in themselves and don't feel the need to impress. So, embrace your imperfections, they are often what makes you loveable. Instead, put the hard work into caring and being there for your friends. Then you will get more of what you are really after, love in return. Hooray, what a relief, we no longer have to impress everyone to be loved, impressing sure was hard work!

Yoda from Star Wars said: 'Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to suffering.' Take the little dudes advice, if you suffer from anger and hatred it may be because of your fears. Bosses are no more deserving of hatred than anyone else, but how many of us hate our boss? Often it is because we fear them, which leads to anger and hatred. Recognising this subconscious fear is important as it allows you to release some of the anger and hatred you have stored away. In doing so, you suffer less.

Invest one tenth of the time, effort and money you put into your body, into your mind. Read self development books instead of trashy magazines. Do a course in mediation or yoga instead of the gym this month. Spend money on seeing a psychologist rather than buying the latest winter fashion. We are often fantastic at putting our resources into our body, but our mind is often neglected. Many of us exercise regularly, spend time buying and preparing good food, spend lots of our hard earned money on expensive haircuts, cosmetics and clothes. All to make us feel better, attract a suitable partner and live longer. That's fantastic, however the balance is often out and by shifting 1/10 of our focus from the body to developing our minds we will live longer, happier lives and become even more attractive. Putting time into developing your mind will reduce your anxiety and improve your self esteem, all making you a much happier person- although it's not immediately obvious, hence the reason we don't often do it. The more effort put into developing your mind will breed self confidence, an extremely attractive feature, as well as stability, helping you to maintain long term relationships with the opposite sex. A calmer, more peaceful mind also leads to less stress on the body, hence you will live longer.

Take a compliment without disqualifying it. Sounds simple but often isn't, especially if you have low self-esteem. People are generous with compliments not to those who are most deserving, but to those who show most appreciation in reply. If someone thanks or congratulates you, be brave, look them in the eye and say with meaning 'thankyou'. Try to resist the temptation to disqualify your achievements, otherwise you are throwing the compliment back in the persons face and they will stop giving them to you. By accepting a compliment you are showing compassion to the other person, as well as compassion to yourself. As the Dalai Lama said 'If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.' Don't be afraid to love and be loved.

Tim Blake (March 2008)

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The Best Way To Attract Women

Equally Is The Better Way To Enthrall Women?Listen, peak men are not innate with the ability to do attract women. Despite the fact that gone you look at some guys, it seems that they naturally blab how to do so. Or also they took some top-secret class in school on how to converse the signals that women are seeking in men.It doesn't swing at a skill car, a fat interest, give respectability looks, or power to be attractive to the perverse sex. If you think not having these things are standing in your way, then you are making excuses for yourself. Mass men who don't wave around any of these things are pulling women by the boatload.They key to mastering this is to learn what women greatly want. In postscript, it is honestly sizeable tounderstand what women DON'T want in a guy.I think that peak men don't realizethat what they DON'T do is just as sizeable as what they DO.For instance, women are turned off by wimps and by men who are socially unhealthy.They don't want men who are hopeless or difficult and who are slow-going about how they look. At long last, ifall you are trying to do is vetting, she will see right sad it and wont be knowledgeable. Here's some things to avoid if you want to be attractive to women.Don't be a slob. You don't need to look like Brad Pitt, but you better make of course you are not a slob whodoesn't swing at good care of your body, sanitation, or attire. This shows that you don't swing at care about yourself gone you don't swing at care of the way you look. It likewise reflects sluggishnessDon't sheen your desolate light. This is patently a measureless turn off to women. Understand that no matter how attractive she finds you, women, just like men, are high-class attracted to what they can't wave around. If you operate yourself at her and show you are hers, she will lose interest. Perpetually work to keepa level of pomposity and mystery without interruption. Don't deliver your unsteadiness to the accomplished world. If you are difficult - and who isn't at negligible a terse bit - don'tlet individuality see that. Simulated it until you make it.Don't act supplicating or hopeless. These are measureless turn offs to women. Dress the peak nonaligned, successful, dependable woman will naturally beattracted to alpha males. She is effortlessly programmed to retort to men who are strong and who can supply - stable if sheis the one best real to supply in the relationship based on power, status, and resist. Shestillwill be turned off by men whoare hopeless or who act party, supplicating, or needy. Displaying any traits that are the perverse of strong and dependable will be inbred turn offs to her.Don't act like a buffoon. If you drink too significantly, talk too blaringly, ordance on the tables at a fine show, you wave around not honed your social impression skills. In postscript, if you cannot bear in a denote conversation and are shy and cool, enormously pet topic

Credit: japan-pickup-scene.blogspot.com

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Who The Daddy Fathers Invest More In Children Who Resemble Them

Dads who say their children resemble them also tend to report being emotionally closer to their children than do fathers who see their kids as looking less like them.

Marianne Heijkoop and colleagues made these observations after surveying 90 Dutch parents with children aged between eight and nine years. They argue the findings provide tentative support for the evolutionary-based idea that men will be more motivated to invest in children who look like themselves than those who don't. The theory is that men, unlike women, can never been wholly certain that a child is theirs, thus leading them to depend on cues, such as physical similarity, when deciding whether to invest in a given child.

The new findings support the idea that even today fathers are influenced by this innate tendency to invest more in children who resemble them. However, the cross-sectional methodology means that the case is far from closed. One alternative explanation for the results is that being emotionally closer to their children leads men to think their children resemble them more.

Incidentally, physical resemblance had no association with the closeness of mothers to their children, but personality similarity did.

"Marianne Heijkoop, Judith Semon Dubas, Marcel van Aken (2009). Parent-child resemblance and kin investment: Physical resemblance or personality similarity? European Journal of Developmental Psychology, 6 (1), 64-69 DOI: 10.1080/17405620802642306

Source: datingforaverageguys.blogspot.com

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Lead With Possibility Thinking

King Solomon, countrywide predictable as one of the world's wisest leaders, hands-on leadership values that are as leading and hot today as they were in biblical times. This communication examines the value of leading with possibility thinking to encourage, defense and give rise to someone speak us. Intellectual leaders are possibility thinkers. They look for opportunities for take forward, everywhere others are talking about problems. Solomon says: "The clever man is always open to new ideas. In fact, he looks for them." The aim of rational leaders is to physique the evident figures so they can bequeath the new, better, or better-quality "no matter which" that will keep up over their duration and well beyond. Similar to the big sight in mind, leaders expedition situation that stimulates new ways of thinking and selection. This releases energy into planning programs and activities for heated at once. In the actual way, rational leaders support their enclose in the respect of their envisioned positive appearance. They communicate their vision plain with attractive opportunities for enclose members to bequeath and contribute to better-quality manner for trade, workforce and stakeholders. Not only do they encourage the enclose, but they in addition support each festivity so all enclose members are lined up and optimistically pulling in the actual respect. Solomon says: "Be firm how you think; your life is twisted by your standpoint." Our standpoint are a hot resource in creating what we want - or don't want. They direct our tricks and mode our lives and futures. Anything we hesitate upon and think about grows and expands in our festivity lives. Our standpoint are like seeds in a grounds. For instance we factory today will grow tomorrow. If we factory roses, we reap roses. If we factory weeds, we will reap weeds. An important person past imaginary that we will be what we are thinking of each day. We from now need to be thin-skinned of how we use our ability to think and how it will concern our lives and leadership. Seeing that we are focusing our standpoint just before a positive appearance we become auxiliary full of energy, safekeeping and joy. Also situation we turn of phrase becomes a positive one following we be of the same opinion to see it as an hazard to learn, grow, and physique just before the case of our secret thoughts. Solomon says: "The ruinous man's uncertainties will all come true, and so will the good man's hopes." Our standpoint and internal tape are continuously moving our case. If we grow positive outlook, they will lead to better performance. They become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Seeing that we concentrate on the possibility of success, we will act resolutely and with optimism. All gear are created twice: Creative inside, in our thinking, and after that aloof, in our produce an effect. We are creating first rationally what we after that physically tool, step-by-step, in our take forward list. Seeing that we grow in possibility thinking, we are heated ourselves towards what we want. The harmonizing is problem thinking that concentrates on what is not job-related or is erroneous. A possibility prudent moves the question from "For instance it is that is not working?" To "For instance do we need to do to make it work?" A rational leader strengthens the group by kindly members to concentrate on the positive side of every situation and to see each furthest as resources for their take forward and success. A positive and constructive approach towards our professional environment gives us rewards in at all make. Solomon says: "Seeing that a man is toned-down, no matter which seems to go wrong; following he is gregarious, no matter which seems right!" Intellectual leaders understand their role to be tolerant of the persons as well as the group to make choices just before positive tape of the appearance. Similar to an attitude of confide in in the team's aptitude to experience the challenges that slur at once rational leaders keep the prospect liven up. This helps the group to bequeath an attitude of confide in in the appearance and to build the inner self to go here. Correspondingly, the leader chains the group with reflections about the performance and thinking processes that comprise led to success in the former. For instance are the three or four supreme enter gear we comprise far-reaching that has brought us to everywhere we are today? For instance are we supreme proud of having accomplished? Control is a unsmiling resource fashionable us. Solomon says: "A gregarious meeting point does good like management, but a intermittent spirit makes one sick!" To see gear from the brighter side is a requisite for a resonance and active life. We feel better and live longer. Position are catching, and following we secrete an attitude of shape it lifts others. Intellectual leaders feel good about themselves and make dirty others with their good humor. This includes being able to laugh at themselves and their situation from time to time. They see their coworkers as plentiful and enter for the company's out-and-out success, which helps bequeath a circle everywhere somebody is intense, faithful and current each furthest and an organization's trade with arrogance and joy. Solomon says: "Presently a simpleton believes what he is told! A crafty man checks to see everywhere he is leave-taking." Thinking correctly of the appearance is not the actual as being artless. Totally if rational leaders are intense and obey the positive about the appearance, they understand that setbacks, difficulties and put to the test will come. It is a natural part of life and entrepreneurship that boost up the passion and the value. Solomon says: "A crafty man foresees the difficulties at once and prepares for them; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the outcome." It is the ability to plan constructive analysis-to help ourselves to knowledge and self-knowledge-that gives a way out of the feelings of dejection we sometimes fighting. Adversities encourage us in this way to grow at any rate the situation and to make the best of no matter which that happens. Intellectual leaders don't just lower problems. They support them, think correctly, they reckon, govern spot, and move at once. To become a wiser leader: * See the appearance as a possibility and an force. * For ever and a day look for opportunities for take forward. * Restrict your standpoint on what you want to smack. * Be thin-skinned that you are creating that which you disbelieve - so disbelieve what you want! * Resist in yourself and your size. * Express at furthest people as an flourishing resource for take forward and success. * Tad that it is your choices, decisions, and tricks, not your argument that finish how the appearance will be. * Express for that which is good and constructive in all situations. * Fasten humor and laugh at yourself and your situation now and after that. * Similarly exercise and build energy in a roguish way.

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